Thoughts on December 25th

I'm not celebrating a birthday today.

I haven't really been too caught up in all the mythology surrounding today for some time now. I try to have a nice time with family and friends this time of year. I don't get too carried away with gift giving these days since I don't like being told to buy gifts for people on a certain day of the year. Plus I think it's sort of ridiculous to go around shopping in the same old tired stores you can go to any day of the year and buy the same items you can get any other day of the year.

Oh, I did give a bottle of wine to each of the three administrative staff in my office, and my kids and girlfriend will each get a couple of nice gifts too. I've come to view December 25th much like I view Thanksgiving Day. It's mostly about a day from work, enjoying family and those I love and taking a day to relax and cook... and then everyone opens a couple of gifts.

Oh, I know that Christmas is supposed to be about giving because, as legend has it, it's the day God gave his greatest gift to the world. It's a nice sentimental thought and, I suppose, has served some useful purpose down through the ages, not the least of which is to prop up the economy and put retail stores in the black for the year.

"Jesus saves, but Christians spend." That was a headline in the paper a couple of days ago. I remember back in my Christian days how every year I would bury myself in credit card debt (again) just to be the "giver" I was expected to be. I mean, every year it seemed that love and caring was measured in the dollar value of the gifts I gave. Especially to my ex-wife, who, upon opening her gifts would usually ask, "how much did it cost?" If the number wasn't sufficiently high, or if I failed to match her spending on my gifts, disappointment ensued. It was a crappy way to spend a day.

This December 24th and 25th were really OK. Charissa and Cameron were with me. So was Marcela. They all had a way of making the experience joyful without it being tied to anything -- except being together. We ate, we went to the mountains, we ate out, we watched TV, we talked, Charissa baked cookies, we ate more, we opened meaningful gifts. It wasn't at all about quantity. Or religion. It was about what we mean to each other and about our humanity and our compassion for each other and those we care most about.

I don't know when the "holiday season" grew ten heads and became a monster no one can control. I don't know how it became the norm to stand in line for 24-hours just to get the latest technology (that will be obsolete a year later). I don't know why our consumer society becomes even more manic and consumptive and wasteful at the same time it's supposedly at it's most spiritual and reflective. If there is a god, I doubt this was the divine plan. How could it be.

What I do know is that I have made this holiday work for me somehow. Maybe for the very first time. It's snowing. I have classical music on the radio. I'm alone at the moment (a brief but welcome transition from my house to Marcela's) and drinking a lovely glass of wine.

Enjoy the day.

C